The people in our cubicle have their own culture. We are part of the working class and they can\'t go out and blow things up. We don\'t save lives, we don\'t use brushes, we don\'t have offices that can close doors. We can recognize each other by the hollow look in our eyes and the standard failing shoulder drooping. My brothers and sisters, I am here to help you. OK, this article is divided into two groups of 20 tips. The first set of tips is an excuse not to go to work. The best advice I can give you as a cubicle resident is: stay in your cube for as little time as possible. Please use the sick leave allocated on a daily basis. Don\'t waste one. \"Sick\" is so vague. After all, what is the real definition of \"sick? Don\'t take out your dictionary or something. I say \"sick\" is defined by individuals \". Also, if you\'re one of those people who can\'t seem to find time to take advantage of all your holidays, then I don\'t think you might have any hope. I have no problem with all my holidays. 1. Do not refuse any surgery provided. We don\'t need all our organs. If an organ explodes, throw it away. Of course, it\'s painful, but eating painkillers at home is better than staying in a compartment with unnecessary organs. 2. If you are a female and you have a male boss, call me and toss around the ovaries and fallopian tubes. They will ask you to stay at home. 3. Open Day of hay fever. You can\'t work on a hay hot open day. You can choose this day. There is no way to determine which day the pollen will be given to you. However, it may not be appropriate to try this method in winter. 4. No clean underwear. You can\'t go in without clean underwear. What if you have a car accident? You should disguise the reason as \"immigration \". 5. You can\'t be expected to work when your substrate is so dirty. Also my baseboard is dirty so when you run out of your motherboard. . . . 6. You have to take your cat to the vet. No cats? Borrow a neighbor. Or find a wild one near you. If that wildcat scratched you, it would be an extra bonus because. . . . 7. You can\'t come in because the Wildcat scratched you. 8. Join all religions and observe their holidays. You may consider setting up your own religion so that you can create new holidays. 9. The car makes a funny sound, so you can\'t risk driving in. Funny sounds can be played on your car stereo by your favorite comedian. 10. It\'s Robert Downey Jr. \'s birthday. You were sacred that day. 11. Had a self- Pedicure difficult to have to see professional. 12. As a parent, you need a day to sort out all the ways that you feel are failing. 13. You need a day to recover from the overwhelming sense of guilt, after sorting out all the ways you feel like you have failed as a parent. 14. Your mother called the first thing in the morning. Those calls will take a while. 15. You realize that you are the only person on this planet who hasn\'t seen the bad, and you have to start your bad Marathon on Monday because all new habits have to start on Monday. It\'s like a rule. 16. Your neighbor is drunk and fights outside at 7: 00 A. M. You can\'t miss this. 17. You get drunk and fight outside with your husband at 7: 00 in the morning. 18. The rule of \"not drinking bourbon on Sunday\" was broken. 19. If you don\'t put all the socks together, you can\'t live another day. There are three different baskets for fucking. 20. You know the guy in the next cube will start the day with a fake Irish accent saying \"top of the Morning\" to you. You can\'t hear it anymore, or you might be guilty of murder. In fact, I would use the shorthand of the boss/staff to refer to most of these \"migraines\" as \"migraines \". If you ignore the first rule of the Inter-Grid Club, which is \"don\'t fucking go to work\", then you need reasons to avoid doing actual work there. 1. Judy, an accounting major, asked for an income spreadsheet for June. After you made the spreadsheet, she said she really needed plum. You can\'t handle this garbage. Take a while to wander the Hall angrily and tell everyone in the building about stupid Judy. 2. Twitter. What better way to avoid work than Twitter? 3. Hang out at Booth 4 and play mobile games. Make excuses for bad Mexican food as a reason you stayed in the bathroom for half a morning. 4. Argue with someone about the \"right\" way to do a project, even if their idea is reasonable. 5. Stand in front of the public refrigerator. As he walked around, he muttered that no one had cleaned up the garbage in the refrigerator. 6. Volunteer to attend the committee meeting and then go for coffee instead of attending the meeting. Claim you are too busy to attend. 7. Ask the boss how is his golf game? Of course, you have to look at his stupid lip slapping, but at least you don\'t work. 8. After listening to the Queen\'s overhead page of office drama 100 times a day, go for the right painkillers. 9. Go to the supply room multiple times because you never know when to find a box of paper towels in a pink box. You like the pink box. Also, check if they re-store the battery. The battery is expensive except when it is free. 10. Made a vague comment on hearing that they did not raise any salary. Again. This is what it is called \"the cage of the coolrattling \". At least an hour after that, the locals will be angry loudly. 11. Go to the human resources department to ask for detailed instructions on health insurance benefits. Ask a lot of meaningless questions. 12. Write an attack on bad choices in vending machines. 13. Walk briskly through the building with a report and talk to yourself. This is a great way to get exercise and get paid. 14. Write a blog post15. Make a friend at work so you can have instant messages all day long. The extra thing is that your ClickPad sounds like you\'re working hard. 16. Go online and buy your own island. 17. Spend an hour cleaning and cleaning your messy cubicle. Then do mine. I\'m just embarrassed. 18. Find a way to make me a fool in the accounting field, not only does he ask you to do the project for him, but also find a way to insult you in the process. 19. Practice your \"don\'t talk to me\" face in the bathroom mirror. 20. Google the distance between your cubicle and the beach. All the beaches. All over the world. Now, give me some new ways to waste my time. I can\'t do it anymore. I have to do it all my life.
